Tuesday, May 16, 2006
The New New Yorker Loses Its Cool
Write your own damn Captain Hook caption here.
My cartoon caption contest entries (for example, What can I do? They all have passes.) are hands-down funnier than anything the judges are putting on the short list for voting, and it's getting pretty annoying. I mean, who wants to be disappointed with the last page of their favorite high-slash-nobrow publication week after week? It wears on you.
For a while, I thought it was just the contest judges. I tried to shrug it off. But then, a few weeks ago, they published this terrible, horrible, no good very unfunny Shanahan disaster:
And suddenly, I realized it wasn't just the judges.
Happily, the vast majority of New Yorker articles & fiction still rock -- it's hard to beat anything Malcolm Gladwell writes, and the addition of David Sedaris to the usual cast of contributing characters is a masterstroke. And there are still some great gems among the cartoonists, and their fodder. Won't be cancelling that subscription just yet. Wouldn't be prudent.
But overall, that cartoon sensibility seems to be shifting.
And it's just not funny.
You can buy any contest cartoon with your own caption on it, but why give them the satisfaction? From now on, I'm keeping my captions to myself. And you, of course. Think this week's cartoon would do better with a Captain Hook reference, or something about that old campfire chestnut? Weigh in (or add your own caption) in the comments...
[UPDATE 10:09 pm: Irony of ironies, less than an hour after posting the above I recieved the following email:
As a continuing and semi-regular contributor of cartoons to The New Yorker, I'd like to thank you personally for your heroically humorous efforts in the caption contest. If you've won, congratulations! If not, you're still in very inspiring company. To wit—
There have been over 300,000 entries to this point. We've had a variety of entrants, from noted film critic Roger Ebert to local celebrity Edward Surek of Sheboygan, Wisconsin (my father-in-law). Neither has won yet, but keep up the good work.
Trust me, it's not easy being funny (or getting published). You might be interested to know that I average about 40 submissions for every one published. Plus, I've yet to have a cartoon grace the caption contest. But I'm not giving up and neither should you! Perhaps one day my cartoon and your caption will become one. I'm misting up just thinking about it. So take pleasure in your glorious caption quest and know that the cartoon gurus at the home office appreciate your efforts, as do the cartoonists. (After all, without you, there is no caption contest.)
So, good luck and keep those courageous captions coming!
Best wishes,
Michael Shaw Cartoon Contributor, The New Yorker 'nuff said, eh?
posted by boyhowdy |
8:47 PM |
Comments:
I'm a little bit behind on my New Yorker reading, and thus the caption contests; I keep a few in the car to read in bits and pieces while waiting for various kid events to end. But I just had to tell you that this made me laugh. I mean really laugh, out loud. Made my day: "I mean, who wants to be disappointed with the last page of their favorite high-slash-nobrow publication week after week? It wears on you."
# posted by : 1:38 PM, May 17, 2006
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Subject: HIGH TECHNIQUE ELECTRICAL HOME APPLIANCES---COMPUTERIZE GAS KITCHEN
Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2002 08:53:27 +0000 (UTC)
From: "MRS WANG"
Organization: FUJIAN HUALI TECHNOLOGY CREATING CO,LTD
Do you like to comprehend a computer housemaid ? Do you like to own a blue soldier ? Today , SHIELD gives you the answer .
SHIELD is a computerize gas kitchen which is controlled automatically and intelligently. It is a world wide invention , is a new generation of the gas kitchen..
What is the benefits that SHIELD brings to us ? Firstly , it will relieve you out of the kitchen ,you shouldn't be in when you cook the food .Second ,it solved the problem that the food would be burned ,the soup be out and the gas be leaked .And it will make your family safer and healthier.
Do you want to understand much more merits about SHIELD? Please see the followings:
1. amounts and the kinds of food (boiling water, porridge, rice , soup ,fish ,meat ,medicine), SHIELD will regulate the temperature and time to cook automatically ,and the soap won't be out ,the food won't be burned .It will turn off the electric and gas source by itself ,and tell you by springing out the music .
2. when needing and you can set five times to light fire .
3. ,it will send out a big fire ,and when the temperature reached 100 ,it would change the flame .If the temperature is below 100 ,it will turn to be a big fire ,and keep the flame blue .The containing of CO is less than 0.04% of total .(standard :less than 0.05%) . And then it reduced the pollute .
4. B"CAutomatically limit the time of offering gas :It is 30 minutes that offering the gas. When cooking ,it won't be out whenever it is blew or watered .Because when the fire is out , it will light automatically. When the gas leaked ,the density reached up a level or the temperature of the platform is over 80 ,SHIELD will warn you and turn off the electric and gas source .
5. need ,it can set the temperature and heat the food by itself .
6. according to the container .
7. 70.51%(standard :higher than 55%).Comparing to the common gas kitchen ,it can save more than 40%source of total .
8. natural gas and marsh gas to cook , also can use many kinds of pans, such as iron pan ,aluminum pan and high pressured pan. SHIELD computerize gas kitchen is a housemaid , is a soldier .Is there anything more important than the safety and health of your family ?
Let us share more happy in our lives .Not to bore for the burned food, not to be sad for no time for cooking .For you love your family ,please begin with SHIELD .Possessing SHIELD is possessing love .
-Spam E-mail for a Home Appliance "published" at We Made Out In A Tree And This Old Guy Sat And Watched Us,
submitted by Jeremy Sacco
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