Thursday, August 18, 2005

And I Still Love You 

Ninth anniversary today. Not much time to celebrate, unless you count lunch and a quick trip to Wal Mart without the kids, but I know she knows I know that we're okay, under the gypsy life, the shadow of a thousand possibilities...and that I hold her fully responsible for getting us here whole, sane, happy, poised, and the best selves we can be under even the most trying circumstances.

It's like I said in an email yesterday:
...What a wonderful irony to be asked about the heroic status of my wife on the very eve of my ninth aniversary. Yes, David, there is a Darcie, and she is a woman of poise. Kind and gentle, supportive and stable; the ground to my flitter and the eye to my storm; she is my luck, my eternal center, the perfect partner and the ideal mother to my children. And outside sources confirm it: she's got the sexiest phone voice in the history of womankind.

And she picked me. Words fail me.
For those who have never heard the tale, a quick retell of our longago, way the hell back in 1991. In sonnet form, for no reason whatsoever.
The word was “pile” and someone drew
Two stick figures, overlapping
And all we could shout was “sex, sex”
And that’s how we met.
I remember the moon that night,
Playing mental chess on the quad.
Your slippery body in the shower.

I was broken for a long time.
For a year and more you held me
Late at night in the top bunk bed
The whole dorm swinging to the rhythm
Of other people’s sex.
When they kicked me out you hid me
In plain sight, and forever.

Awesome to realize that from these humble beginnings sprung a lifetime of mutual sustenance, committed -- by deliberate and co-written Ketubah phrasing -- to pursuit of the spirits of lightness, laughter, and adventure. Yea, though we have no home, I am not afraid, for wherever she is, is home. Or, as I said to David, sorry attempts at worldchanging were nothing before I met the one who could focus it all -- pedestal, brace, focusing lens and gentle breeze
all in one. What good is a voice if one has nothing to speak of, no confidence in one's words?

Happy Anniversary, baby. Let's keep doing it right forever.

posted by boyhowdy | 11:20 PM |

I envy people like you (in a good way, of course), and I'm emotionally moved by reading blog entries such as yours.

I'm 28 years old and I secretly cry inside every day waiting for the day that I find someone who I can spend the rest of my life with.

I was listening to Rabbi Dubov on a podcast about relationships last night, and he said as a joke that the reason women walk around the men during the wedding and not vice versa is because a woman can change a man's character and his life forever (and jokingly not vice versa).

Thank you for your post. -Zoe

PS - I'm impressed with your blog template. Did you make it yourself? You can e-mail me back at
I often get emotionally involved. Like when I read your post, I can cry, laugh, sad, funny, depending on your written words. I think you are a sensitive person.

I realize that nothing is fair but I'm still trying. I just want to do my best and what is possible

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