Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Turns Out It Was Just Me 

Thanks to those who expressed their empathy after yesterday's post. After a supper with Dad down at the Del Ray in Northampton tonight, I think it was just the blues.

Well, that, and Hunter S. Thompson and Sandra Dee, too many hours and not enough appreciation, worries about the jobsearch, frustration at being left out of the 17% raise finally given to the teachers after I've been made moot, frustration about being left out of the subsequent discussion between faculty and staff wondering if this will end up being a diversion and divisiveness tactic in the midst of important change, the kid is sick, my back is killing me after two days in her bed while she lies clogged in mine... oh, and they forgot to take our trash today -- I had to put it back in the basement.

Okay, I'm under some pressure these days.

But no worries. I've started flipping off the school as I pass by in the dark. Impotent, I know, but it makes me feel much better.

And thanks for the suggestion, Anne, but no, I'm not going to switch fields. I'm a damn good teacher, and I'd hate myself forever if I wasted that. I can make a goddamn difference with what I know, and no one else understands it enough yet for me to leave it to them.

I'm here for the kids and teachers. So help me, no matter what happens in the next months, I've got capital to spend, and I'm going to leave this place better than I found it, by God, because that's what I can do, that's what I should do, and -- institutional politics notwithstanding -- that's no less than what this world deserves.

posted by boyhowdy | 9:24 PM |

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