Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Unplanned Parenthood?
Hangin' with Mr. Condom.
Consumer Reports: free condoms given out by Planned Parenthood have the worst performance rating...when inflated with air. ("You end up with a balloon 3 feet tall and a foot wide. They can really stretch an amazing amount.")
I'd write something funny in response, but how to choose? The potential for hilarity seems endless. Especially in an article which includes both the quote above and the phrase "did not burst despite vigorous testing."
Bonus: while PP makes several kinds of condoms -- all of which performed poorly when tested -- the ones in question are melon colored. Hence the product name: Planned Parenthood Honeydew. Honey? Dew? Leave your own humorous responses in the comments below.
posted by boyhowdy |
10:41 AM | 
Comments:
New slogan for PP Condoms: "Don't do the do until you do dew to you." Or somethin' like that... All of this is kinda taking me back to a story about my alma mata. They used to give out free condoms to everyone... ...until there was a campus crisis because a bunch of folks discovered the condoms were all defective. Dirty fuckers, I tellya...
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About Boyhowdy
Cybersociologist. Father.
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Subject: HIGH TECHNIQUE ELECTRICAL HOME APPLIANCES---COMPUTERIZE GAS KITCHEN
Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2002 08:53:27 +0000 (UTC)
From: "MRS WANG"
Organization: FUJIAN HUALI TECHNOLOGY CREATING CO,LTD
Do you like to comprehend a computer housemaid ? Do you like to own a blue soldier ? Today , SHIELD gives you the answer .
SHIELD is a computerize gas kitchen which is controlled automatically and intelligently. It is a world wide invention , is a new generation of the gas kitchen..
What is the benefits that SHIELD brings to us ? Firstly , it will relieve you out of the kitchen ,you shouldn't be in when you cook the food .Second ,it solved the problem that the food would be burned ,the soup be out and the gas be leaked .And it will make your family safer and healthier.
Do you want to understand much more merits about SHIELD? Please see the followings:
1. amounts and the kinds of food (boiling water, porridge, rice , soup ,fish ,meat ,medicine), SHIELD will regulate the temperature and time to cook automatically ,and the soap won't be out ,the food won't be burned .It will turn off the electric and gas source by itself ,and tell you by springing out the music .
2. when needing and you can set five times to light fire .
3. ,it will send out a big fire ,and when the temperature reached 100 ,it would change the flame .If the temperature is below 100 ,it will turn to be a big fire ,and keep the flame blue .The containing of CO is less than 0.04% of total .(standard :less than 0.05%) . And then it reduced the pollute .
4. B"CAutomatically limit the time of offering gas :It is 30 minutes that offering the gas. When cooking ,it won't be out whenever it is blew or watered .Because when the fire is out , it will light automatically. When the gas leaked ,the density reached up a level or the temperature of the platform is over 80 ,SHIELD will warn you and turn off the electric and gas source .
5. need ,it can set the temperature and heat the food by itself .
6. according to the container .
7. 70.51%(standard :higher than 55%).Comparing to the common gas kitchen ,it can save more than 40%source of total .
8. natural gas and marsh gas to cook , also can use many kinds of pans, such as iron pan ,aluminum pan and high pressured pan. SHIELD computerize gas kitchen is a housemaid , is a soldier .Is there anything more important than the safety and health of your family ?
Let us share more happy in our lives .Not to bore for the burned food, not to be sad for no time for cooking .For you love your family ,please begin with SHIELD .Possessing SHIELD is possessing love .
-Spam E-mail for a Home Appliance "published" at We Made Out In A Tree And This Old Guy Sat And Watched Us,
submitted by Jeremy Sacco
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