Tuesday, December 07, 2004

How To Be Depressed 

  • Ask daughter for kiss. Ask again. Say "I really have to go now, Willow." Say "I wish I had a kiss right now." Say "Please, just one little kiss?" Leave without kiss.

  • Drive 5 miles in dangerously icy conditions to sit in a library information commons to which no one comes.

  • Get coffee. Log into school network. Stare into space.

  • Stare at coffee cup -- the third cup of the day, at a buck fifty per. Try to figure out how much you spend on coffee per year. Now try to figure out how many iPods that is.

  • Realize that you spend twice that much on cigarettes. Multiply number of imaginary iPods by three.

  • Wish you had the money for just one iPod. Wish you had the money for a decent Christmas present for your wife. Wish addiction didn't cost so much. Wish you didn't have such an addictive personality. Wish wishes were horses, or, better, cash. Wish you didn't want another cup of coffee right now.

  • Leave "Be Right Back!" sign on service desk. Go to snack bar. Buy another cup of coffee. Return to deserted information commons.

  • Wonder why the library seems so quiet. Realize that the reason your typing isn't making that funny clicking noise today is that you left the pipe-cleaner-and-bead bracelet your daughter made you on the bathroom counter. Miss daughter.

  • Blog about it.

posted by boyhowdy | 3:30 PM |

aaawwwww! hug hug.
Hey - y'know if you cut the cigs. and coffee you could afford, er...1/4th of an Ipod.

Why u want an Ipod anyway? New school sux! Go old school - I still dig my Walkman, dammit!
1/4 of an ipod, Shaw? Do the math:

$1.50 x 3 per day of coffee.
&7 a day of cigarettes

Total: $11.50 per day.

x 300 days (I make coffee at home on weekends)

= $3350.00 per year

= many iPods.
This is a sad, lovely post. Thanks for writing it!
Post a Comment
coming soon
now listening