Tuesday, December 07, 2004

How To Be Depressed 

  • Ask daughter for kiss. Ask again. Say "I really have to go now, Willow." Say "I wish I had a kiss right now." Say "Please, just one little kiss?" Leave without kiss.


  • Drive 5 miles in dangerously icy conditions to sit in a library information commons to which no one comes.

  • Get coffee. Log into school network. Stare into space.


  • Stare at coffee cup -- the third cup of the day, at a buck fifty per. Try to figure out how much you spend on coffee per year. Now try to figure out how many iPods that is.


  • Realize that you spend twice that much on cigarettes. Multiply number of imaginary iPods by three.


  • Wish you had the money for just one iPod. Wish you had the money for a decent Christmas present for your wife. Wish addiction didn't cost so much. Wish you didn't have such an addictive personality. Wish wishes were horses, or, better, cash. Wish you didn't want another cup of coffee right now.


  • Leave "Be Right Back!" sign on service desk. Go to snack bar. Buy another cup of coffee. Return to deserted information commons.


  • Wonder why the library seems so quiet. Realize that the reason your typing isn't making that funny clicking noise today is that you left the pipe-cleaner-and-bead bracelet your daughter made you on the bathroom counter. Miss daughter.


  • Blog about it.

posted by boyhowdy | 3:30 PM |

Comments:
aaawwwww! hug hug.
# posted by Blogger Suzanne : 9:18 PM, December 07, 2004
 
Hey - y'know if you cut the cigs. and coffee you could afford, er...1/4th of an Ipod.

Why u want an Ipod anyway? New school sux! Go old school - I still dig my Walkman, dammit!
# posted by Blogger Shaw Israel Izikson : 11:08 PM, December 07, 2004
 
1/4 of an ipod, Shaw? Do the math:

$1.50 x 3 per day of coffee.
&7 a day of cigarettes

Total: $11.50 per day.

x 300 days (I make coffee at home on weekends)

= $3350.00 per year

= many iPods.
# posted by Blogger boyhowdy : 1:00 PM, December 09, 2004
 
This is a sad, lovely post. Thanks for writing it!
# posted by Blogger srah : 12:54 PM, December 10, 2004
 
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About Boyhowdy
 
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Subject: HIGH TECHNIQUE ELECTRICAL HOME APPLIANCES---COMPUTERIZE GAS KITCHEN
Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2002 08:53:27 +0000 (UTC)
From: "MRS WANG"
Organization: FUJIAN HUALI TECHNOLOGY CREATING CO,LTD

Do you like to comprehend a computer housemaid ? Do you like to own a blue soldier ? Today , SHIELD gives you the answer .

SHIELD is a computerize gas kitchen which is controlled automatically and intelligently. It is a world wide invention , is a new generation of the gas kitchen..

What is the benefits that SHIELD brings to us ? Firstly , it will relieve you out of the kitchen ,you shouldn't be in when you cook the food .Second ,it solved the problem that the food would be burned ,the soup be out and the gas be leaked .And it will make your family safer and healthier.

Do you want to understand much more merits about SHIELD? Please see the followings:

1. amounts and the kinds of food (boiling water, porridge, rice , soup ,fish ,meat ,medicine), SHIELD will regulate the temperature and time to cook automatically ,and the soap won't be out ,the food won't be burned .It will turn off the electric and gas source by itself ,and tell you by springing out the music .

2. when needing and you can set five times to light fire .

3. ,it will send out a big fire ,and when the temperature reached 100 ,it would change the flame .If the temperature is below 100 ,it will turn to be a big fire ,and keep the flame blue .The containing of CO is less than 0.04% of total .(standard :less than 0.05%) . And then it reduced the pollute .

4. B"CAutomatically limit the time of offering gas :It is 30 minutes that offering the gas. When cooking ,it won't be out whenever it is blew or watered .Because when the fire is out , it will light automatically. When the gas leaked ,the density reached up a level or the temperature of the platform is over 80 ,SHIELD will warn you and turn off the electric and gas source .

5. need ,it can set the temperature and heat the food by itself .

6. according to the container .

7. 70.51%(standard :higher than 55%).Comparing to the common gas kitchen ,it can save more than 40%source of total .

8. natural gas and marsh gas to cook , also can use many kinds of pans, such as iron pan ,aluminum pan and high pressured pan. SHIELD computerize gas kitchen is a housemaid , is a soldier .Is there anything more important than the safety and health of your family ?

Let us share more happy in our lives .Not to bore for the burned food, not to be sad for no time for cooking .For you love your family ,please begin with SHIELD .Possessing SHIELD is possessing love .

-Spam E-mail for a Home Appliance "published" at We Made Out In A Tree And This Old Guy Sat And Watched Us, submitted by Jeremy Sacco