Friday, November 26, 2004
Help Me Get My Name In The New Yorker
We've narrowed it down to three, but the New Yorker-sponsored cartoon captioning contest only allows one submission per person. So:
All prospective captions copyright 2004. Submission of the above captions as your own may result in hairy palms, blindness, ulcers, and/or bad karma.
posted by boyhowdy |
11:03 PM |
Comments:
Well, then...3 votes for "no sale," and only one vote for an actual caption possibility. This leaves wme with three possible conclusions: 1. No one out there has actually read the New Yorker. Remember: the question isn't which of these captions is funier, but which one should I submit to THEM. If I was looking for the funniest caption, I'd be presenting a whole different list (okay, maybe not that diferent...but some caption ideas I had just weren't NY-like.) New Yorker cartoon captions are dry, subtle, often not specific to the funy aspects of the image itself so much as a SECOND joke to compliment the visual one. 2. I am not funny. 3. People are mean and vindictive. Guess which two of the above entries I think apply here? But then, I'm a bit biased.
# posted by boyhowdy : 12:06 AM, November 27, 2004
Y'know, I DONT think that hat was supposed to look intentionally like ...um, well, you know. I mean, yea, it looks like, um, yea. But I don't think it was supposed to, um, yea, look like, yea. I'll never go to a sushi bar and think of their chef hats the same way again . . .
hell i dunno - I was never good at these things... how about: "Where Are They Now: H.R. Puffenstuff"
hm... something wry something new yawkish... k - lemme think some more... how about: "Ever since Times Square was cleaned up, Octo, the Erotic Octopus, had to find different work." hm...no... "This fish untouched by human hands." ok...no.... "Thanks to relaxed immagration laws, the Sushi Bar could hire just about anybody." Um...hmm...no... hmmm
hmmm "If you think this is bad you should see who's cooking dessert!" Nononono - too British. ugh...i dunno. maybe I'll go to the sushi bar for breakfast tomorrow and get some insperation
What happened to your original: " Of course he recommends the shark maki. He always recommends the shark maki." that was funny ... second choice would be the wry "ink" reference! GOOD LUCK!
# posted by Kitty : 4:53 PM, November 27, 2004
Kitty: I actually liked that one somewhat, too. But it just didn't seem New Yorkery enough to be a winner...and my family, all of whom have read the mag for years, thought it was too long for a good NY caption (and I agree). Now, if we were going to publish it in the Utne Reader or something...
# posted by boyhowdy : 11:21 PM, November 27, 2004
1. The guy is clearly holding his chopsticks in a "dinner" fashion which I think means that he has a plate of sushi hidden by his body. So, he's already ordered. Actually, he's already GOT a small plate w/ two pieces of sushi on it. But there's no reason to assume he's not ordering more -- which is how I tend to eat sushi, anyway. At one place we go to, they bring out those two small pieces as a free appetizer if they know you, in fact. 2. The squid and the man are reckoning each other, somewhat warily.Agreed, though how can you tell if a squid is "reckoning warily?" 3. The sushi chef is explaining something.Hence his "voice" driving the captions, yes. I like your caption, Eric, but think it could be tighter (lose the period, use a dash instead...OR elide the language even more). Still -- submit away, and good luck!
# posted by boyhowdy : 2:10 AM, November 28, 2004
"The chef wants to know if you want your dessert ribbed or lubed?" (following along that whole "Hat is a you-know-whatwhat" thing).
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Subject: HIGH TECHNIQUE ELECTRICAL HOME APPLIANCES---COMPUTERIZE GAS KITCHEN
Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2002 08:53:27 +0000 (UTC)
From: "MRS WANG"
Organization: FUJIAN HUALI TECHNOLOGY CREATING CO,LTD
Do you like to comprehend a computer housemaid ? Do you like to own a blue soldier ? Today , SHIELD gives you the answer .
SHIELD is a computerize gas kitchen which is controlled automatically and intelligently. It is a world wide invention , is a new generation of the gas kitchen..
What is the benefits that SHIELD brings to us ? Firstly , it will relieve you out of the kitchen ,you shouldn't be in when you cook the food .Second ,it solved the problem that the food would be burned ,the soup be out and the gas be leaked .And it will make your family safer and healthier.
Do you want to understand much more merits about SHIELD? Please see the followings:
1. amounts and the kinds of food (boiling water, porridge, rice , soup ,fish ,meat ,medicine), SHIELD will regulate the temperature and time to cook automatically ,and the soap won't be out ,the food won't be burned .It will turn off the electric and gas source by itself ,and tell you by springing out the music .
2. when needing and you can set five times to light fire .
3. ,it will send out a big fire ,and when the temperature reached 100 ,it would change the flame .If the temperature is below 100 ,it will turn to be a big fire ,and keep the flame blue .The containing of CO is less than 0.04% of total .(standard :less than 0.05%) . And then it reduced the pollute .
4. B"CAutomatically limit the time of offering gas :It is 30 minutes that offering the gas. When cooking ,it won't be out whenever it is blew or watered .Because when the fire is out , it will light automatically. When the gas leaked ,the density reached up a level or the temperature of the platform is over 80 ,SHIELD will warn you and turn off the electric and gas source .
5. need ,it can set the temperature and heat the food by itself .
6. according to the container .
7. 70.51%(standard :higher than 55%).Comparing to the common gas kitchen ,it can save more than 40%source of total .
8. natural gas and marsh gas to cook , also can use many kinds of pans, such as iron pan ,aluminum pan and high pressured pan. SHIELD computerize gas kitchen is a housemaid , is a soldier .Is there anything more important than the safety and health of your family ?
Let us share more happy in our lives .Not to bore for the burned food, not to be sad for no time for cooking .For you love your family ,please begin with SHIELD .Possessing SHIELD is possessing love .
-Spam E-mail for a Home Appliance "published" at We Made Out In A Tree And This Old Guy Sat And Watched Us,
submitted by Jeremy Sacco
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