Thursday, October 21, 2004

MRI Report 

Spent 20 minutes today inside a giant electromagnet, and it wasn't that bad.

I'm an anti-claustrophobe -- have always liked womblike spaces -- so the ceiling vent three inches away didn't make me nervous. Neither did the fact that my arms were pinned to my sides.

The emergency squeeze bulb they asked me to clutch (squeeze if you need us to stop) was less lifeline to reality than a quickly forgotten spacer between palm and fingers.

The loud rhythms and knocking of each two-to-four minute "series" were not only tolerable with earplugs -- they were downright soothing after a while, like techno beats from a downstairs apartment. The resultant buzzthrob was almost massage-like, in fact. I sung along in my head -- mostly "Would You Like To Swing On A Star" (6:00, for all you Hudson Hawk fans!)

In fact, the hardest part for this ADHD boy was not moving for so long. Especially since they had positioned me right on the most sore and sensitive part of my back. After 20 minutes with my body weight unshifting on my spinal swell, and another 20 upright to get here to work again, I can't move, not from this chair in the library, anyway. I've never been in so much discomfort, but the Vicodin helps me pretend the pain belongs to someone else.

But the MRI itself? No problem.

posted by boyhowdy | 8:31 PM |

Would you like to swing on a star?
Carry moonbeams home in a jar?
And be better off than you are?

Or would you rather be a fish?

A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook
He can't write his name or read a book
To fool the people is his only thought

(take it away fellow sick boy . . . )
...And though he's slippery, he still gets caught
But then if that sort of life is what you wish
You may grow up to be a fish

And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
Every day you meet quite a few
So you see it's all up to you
You can be better than you are...

(and a one and a two and a bomp bomp bomp BOW!)


(be doo be doo be doo be bop bop bah waaaaaaaaaa-zibidibop!)

Heh. Bruce Willis rocks.
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