Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Things (After Reading McSweeney's)

1. It's Cold

Now everybody wears sweaters, except I only put one on when I get home. When I go to work I wear a t-shirt under my white Oxford and tie instead. The dog ran into the woods with her sweater on and came out without her sweater, and we can't find it. Also, there are a whole lot of bugs flying around the bare lightbulb in the middle of the attic. I think they came in to get warm; the window doesn't really close too well.

2. In The Dark, I Step On Toys

Sometimes, when you kick one of the blocks that's supposed to go in the round hole, it goes in a spiral. Other times it just rolls under the couch: it all depends on what kind of english you give it when you kick it. You have to kick the triangular blocks really hard to make them go anywhere. Because the baby opossum puppet has that little patch of velcro on its belly which lets you stick it to the mother opossum's back, it doesn't go anywhere when you kick it.

3. I Had a Conversation All Through Dinner With One Of The Science Teachers About Her Son, Evan, Who Is A Sophomore This Year And A Bit Of A Handful Right Now

It was pretty boring, actually.

4. Darcie And I Have A Date Tomorrow Night

Virginia is coming to babysit. She didn't get the job at Haymarket after all because the guy kept calling her when she wasn't home, and then she'd call him back when he wasn't there. Sometimes he didn't even leave a message. Today they gave someone else the job, which probably means he finally called and got to talk to her, but it was too late. Luckily, Virginia has a plan to start her own coffeeshop and put Haymarket out of business, even though there are already five coffeeshops and two cafes in downtown Northampton, including the cybercafe and the Starbucks where all the bikers hang out.

5. Librarians Love The New Archie McFee Librarian Action Figure

It has a kung-fu grip so it can hold tiny rubber books. Also, it looks kind of like a nun. The librarians are going to put it on their new Library Lounge webpage -- the one that they were calling the Living Room until several of us suggested that students think of living rooms as boring, stale places with plastic on the seat cushions, ones where you have to get all dressed up and entertain your mother's friends and their snotty children. When I used to work at the Museum of Science in Boston, we used to get stuff from that catalog all the time, like huge barrels of tiny plastic trinkets you could give away to kids or just play with at your desk.

6. I'm Really Tired

Otherwise, this would be a longer list. It isn't, though. This is about it.