Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Still No Cure For Hairy Palms

First the carcinogenic irony kicked into high gear with the possibility that cell phones might cure cancer. Now, from Reuters via fark comes an inevitability: Scientists Discover Frequent Masturbation Lowers Risk Of Prostate Cancer. On your mark, get set...

1. Makes me wish I was a doctor. Imagine trying to fill that prescription!

2. You too may live to hear the phrase "If only he had masturbated more when he was young..."

3. Two words: Health Class: "Now, class, today we're going to learn about the joys of masturbation.

4. The Fundamentalist Christian Coalition must now figure out how to spin NOT having prostate cancer as divine retribution. Yeah, good luck with that one, guys.

5. I hate to say it, but I'm suddenly no longer jealous of women for having to do those breast self-exams all the time. This is even better.

That was too easy, and I'm sure there's more, so c'mon and add your own by leaving a comment below. Then, just like they do it on Fark: Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.

posted by boyhowdy | 10:28 PM |

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